This particular topic has been on my mind a lot recently.
And it wasn’t until this morning that I decided I needed to write a blog about
it. But before I dive in, a little back ground for anybody who isn’t Mormon. .
.
We believe that the family is at the center of the gospel.
We believe that when a marriage (or sealing) is completed in an LDS Temple it
is for time and all eternity because those who perform the sealing have authority
from God to bind on earth as well as in heaven. We believe the power to
procreate is a gift and an endowment of power from God only to be used in the
bonds of holy matrimony (and solely between a man and a woman-but that is for
another entry). You can find all of what we believe about marriage and family
in The Family: A Proclamation to the World.
However, what you won’t find anywhere is how big a family
has to/should be. No prophet, apostle, or other general authority has ever
stated a “minimum family size” needed for exaltation. And that is because there
isn’t one.
Now don’t get me wrong – I am NOT bashing on large families‼
There are 5 kids in my family, I want a large family, and some of the best
families I have known in the church have 6+ children. But some of the other
best families I have known are not large. My husband comes from a family of 3
children and they are possibly one of the greatest families I have or ever will
meet. One of my very close family friend's do not have any children, and I dare anybody
to spend 10 minutes with them and tell me they aren’t virtuous, humble, and
righteous members of the church. They did all they could to bring children into
their home but have been unsuccessful for one reason or another.
And this leads me to the topic of my post today. . . Eternal
Families.
There seems to be an underlying, unspoken, unconscious prejudice
in the church that in order to have an eternal family you need “X-#” of
children; and in what I have experienced in my slim 4 years of marriage it’s a minimum
around 4 or 5. THIS. IS. FALSE.
It is (as I believe)
also thought that the “typical” Mormon family consists of Mommy, Daddy, and 4.5
perfect little children. Again, in my
opinion, this is also false. What is
normal or typical in the church is changing. We are “hastening the work” and as
such the “typical” member is changing. The typical family is changing. People
are entering this church who are from different walks of life. They have gone
through things that those of us (myself included) who are life-time members can’t
imagine. There are single parent, no parent, foster parent, divorced parent
homes in our church. They are good people who searched, found, and accepted the
gospel of Jesus Christ. The Lord loves them and will not deny them blessings of
happiness.
Of course, there is and always will be the IDEAL situation.
A mother, father, and children all sealed for time and all eternity in the
Temple. And it (a temple marriage) is
something we should all strive for.
Because in the end it’s the temple marriage that makes families eternal.
(and continuing to keep the covenants made there-obviously). It’s not the number of children you have that
creates an eternal marriage. 0 kids, 4 kids, or 10 kids – if the parents weren’t
married in the temple, it’s not eternal.
I believe that we need to do all we can to bring children
into our families. We must exhaust our options. The Lord has commanded us to
multiply and replenish the earth. . .
but what of those who can’t?
I suggest we focus on
the fact that they are ALREADY ETERNAL FAMILIES. I currently do not have
children, and while my little family of 2 doesn’t look “typical” – it IS
eternal. Just because the Lord’s plan
for me is different than others doesn’t make my family any less eternal. For
those whose wombs are empty and heart is full – your family is not any less
eternal.
As for the single/divorced members (with or without
children). Whatever your past or current situation, the Lord has a plan for you.
And it’s a great one – if you stay true and firm in the gospel. You must
continue to exercise faith, love, patience, and virtue in your daily life. And
the Lord will, one day, bless you with an opportunity to make your family
eternal.
There is a typical phrase in the church (one that has irked
me at times) but its – “all will be made right in the millennium”. Meaning ,
those without children will receive them, those without spouses will marry. No righteous
person will be forever denied those types of blessings of happiness.
And yes- that is true. But rarely do people talk about how
hard the endurance process is. And the strength and courage it takes for a
person to wait AND stay firm and true in the gospel. I believe those who are
asked to wait until the millennium have THE. STRONGEST. FAITH. They have THE.
MOST. COURAGE. . . In my opinion the Lord has asked more of them than the
rest of us. I have been blessed to receive the gift of an eternal marriage in
THIS life. And will (hopefully) be blessed with children one day too.
But others aren’t so lucky – and boy, are they stronger than
I.
So in my last moments of typing I challenge us to reconsider
and reconstruct the definition of an Eternal Family. To look again at those
different from what we think is “typical” and consider their strength, courage,
and fortitude as they take on and conquer the challenges the Lord has given
them – look again and ask ourselves,
“what can I learn from this beautiful, righteous, different,
un-average, ETERNAL family.
