To Be. . .Or Not To Be. . .

I, like so many others out there, am FINALLY coming close to finishing my degree! (Insert party dance here!) And as I do I find great joy in telling people that I am almost finished! (who wouldn't?! - 4 years and however many of thousands of dollars later. . .)  These happy moments in my life always go as follows:

Person:  So Chels, when do you finish

Me: *almost dancing* I've ONLY got ______ time left! SO Close!!!

Person: Wow! Congrats! This part is going to fly by! What are you studying?

Me: Chemistry

. . . this next part goes one of the following ways. . . 

Scenario 1:

Person:  *horrible grimace* Oh wow. . . chemistry. . . I hated chemistry. Good for you.

Me:  I really like it. Its fun and keeps me on my toes. There's a lot to learn.

Person:  Yeeeeaaah. . . .Soooo. . . .what do you plan on doing with that degree???

. . . .

Scenario 2:

Person:  *Smile*  Hey! Me too! (or they may be studying bio-chem/pre-pharmacy/something similar) Which chem class are you currently taking?

Me:  Sweet! I love it! . . . I'm currently in _________. 

Person:    Yeah! I remember that class. . . What do you plan on doing with that degree?!?!

. . . .

Now, the conversation itself is always great! Its fun to find other chemistry enthusiasts (we are generally few and far between). . . and its also fun to watch the person try and hurry and hide their pained expression as they reflect back on their high school chemistry class. Then listen as they try (not well) to hide their distaste for the subject and not let the conversation die because they are no longer interested in what I do because of the nightmares it will bring them if they continue to talk about it. . . .Hahaha! I really do get a kick out of this one. Because I will usually comment on their look of discomfort. Which usually tends to lighten the situation.  :)

But, for those of you who didn't notice. . . both these scenarios ended the same. . .

 "What do you plan on doing with that degree?"

And up until about a little while ago. . .it never really bothered me. (mostly because it wasn't asked all that much) But now. . . as I begin the final leg of this 4 year race. . . I kind of stumble over my words and get caught in my own web of. . . Duuuurrrpppp.....and just have a hard time answering the question.

Not because I couldn't. . .I know what I COULD do with the degree. . . But what was more important is what i PLAN on doing with my degree. . . and I found myself being rather disheartened when I wasn't able to just spit it out!

I hate to admit it. . .but I was scared of peoples reactions of when I told them what my plan was. So usually I would just spit out an array of possibilities. . ."My long term plan is to teach, but i could also get a position in a Lab doing analytic work for a researcher, or work as a product quality analyst for a company. . ."

But the truth is that none of these are what I PLAN on doing! 

My plan is to become continue to be as good of a wife as I can be and to become a stay-at-home mom. 

My plan is to use my minor in Psychology to hopefully have a better understanding of my children's developing brains - so i can plan activities that are both fun and mentally stimulating.

My plan is to use my background in Chemistry  (math & physics a little too) to help my kids with the "hard subjects" and relate real-world scenarios to them in ways they can understand and enjoy. . . .think of how much fun my kids will have when we are doing AWESOME science experiments in the kitchen and they get to show Daddy when he gets home!

My plan is to use the education to which I have been exposed and have had the privilege to receive to better my home and my family. By being there to teach, educate, rear them in the ways of truth and right.

And for whatever reason, I had a hard time saying this. . . I didn't think the world would understand. (and most haven't). I've had people say things like, "You've payed for your degree and now you're just going to sit at home???" . . . or. . . "Oh Chels, don't say things like that. You don't want to waste all your hard work.". . . 

At first it was hard. . . I would just kind of half laugh and brush off their comment and change the subject. . .I have never liked disappointing people. It can feel like a rock in my stomach. . . 

But then one day, after reading an Ensign article entitled, "Nine Principles for a Successful Marriage and Family"  it hit me that the only people I should worry about disappointing was myself and the Lord. If I want a happy and successful marriage and family then I need to follow this guidance and stop worrying about the world.

So I made a promise to myself, that whenever anybody asked "What are you planning on doing with that degree?". . .I would tell them that my plan is to first and foremost, be a good wife and mom. And use my knowledge to help raise a successful and happy family. . . then, after my kids are all in school, to maybe look for something to do part-time that would let me use my back ground in Chemistry.

Its been an interesting process. . . I still get the weird look or comment. . . But I've found that  when I say it with confidence and enthusiasm- people usually respond positively too. I want people to know how much raising a family means to me, and how important I believe it is. And this is a way that I have found to do it that I feel pleases my spirit and pleases the Lord.

*As a disclaimer. I know there are many different situations throughout this world. There is nothing wrong with not-being a stay-at-home mom if that is what your circumstances mandate. . . but, there is also nothing wrong WITH being a stay-at-home mom. And I believe that is what we as women should strive to be. A strong wife. A caring mother. A virtuous woman.